Zachary Owen

[Z-Pup]

Good Morning all,

...let me just preface and say I have been lurking for a while (that always sounds "uncle kreepy" to me LOL ) and I have garnished sooo much information from you guys and I thought it was time to introduce ourselves.

My name is Tia, as of this Thursday I will be 40 weeks pregnant (that's enough to make you feel sorry for me there

I am having a lil boy, Zachary Owen, we still are not 100% certain because he likes to look at momma's back while having pictures taken, but we think he has a small unilateral cleft on his left side.

We found out at our first Ultrasound, thank goodness my husband was with me. The nurse was checking everything about the baby, she was rather talkative, "this looks good" "oh this looks real good". Then she shut up, looking at the monitor moving her head from side to side, you knew something didn't "look good." I finally lifted my head up and looked at her..."what is it?" She then told us that he possibly had the cleft lip, and explained to us kinda what it was, and of course on this day the Doc actually wasn't in the office he was at the hospital. Once I heard "cleft lip" my head was gone, I didn't know what it was (if I only knew then what I know now) it felt like my head was kinda floating up in the air all the questions running through my head, knowing I couldn't talk to the doc until the morning. I just wanted to get out of there, I needed some fresh air, I just had to get out.

My mother lives 1.5 hours away, however my-mother-in law worked right across the street from the Docs office. We went to tell her, and I made it into the back room of the store before I broke down. She then hugged me and told me "ohh is that all?, don't you worry about that" (I know she didn't mean anything by that but I still don't like her phrasing, and will probably never forget it) A few minutes later we left there and I called my mother and then I reallllly lost it. I cried on the phone to her for I know 10 minutes and she was at work as well.

She called me an hour later and told me that her, dad, and my sister were on there way down. Well by this time I've had time to calm down, do a lil research, at least to the point of having some knowledge of what I'm dealing with. "No mom that's okay you don't have do that." Plus my house was a MESSS. They came, me and my husband did a MAD house cleaning. It was great to see them, I felt much better and I'm glad they came.

Anyway, enough rambling, sorry. If I don't have the baby by next Wed, the next time I got to the Docs, they will schedule me for an induction. Everyone is so ready to see him and hold and kiss him. I'm ready for all that as well, but more importantly right now, I'm ready for him to be out of me! LOL Put a fork in me I'm done!

Tia and Z-Pup

[heather]

Congratulations on the baby boy! I too am having a boy in November. He has a complete unilateral cleft lip and possibly palate. He wouldn't cooperate with his ultrasounds either. I would strongly recommend not being induced. All the rumors are true. It makes the delivery twice as long and twice as hard. I was induced with my second child and I will never do it again. Go walking alot and just wait for that little one to be ready. Like I said I am having my third child in November and he has his CL and maybe P. I'm no stranger to birth defects, though. My first son was born with a congenital heart defect. So I know what it's like to be looking at surgery at such a very young age. It's scary, but the benefits far outweigh the consequences. Ask as many people as you can about what they know. You'll be surprised to find out who you know has actually been through this themselves. Keep your head held high and know that God makes us in his own image. So he's beautiful already. Take tons of pictures. I'm going to. You just never know what the future will hold. Relax as much as possible. That's really all I can tell you. I haven't gone through it yet, but I thought that maybe I could make you feel better or comfort you with my story. If it helped great. If not, I sure tried. Talk to as many people as possible from this group. They have been so helpful for me. Good luck! I'll be praying! Heather

[Kerri]

Oooo Geez!! lol...You poor thing.. 40 weeks? Whew I hope someone is rubbing your back and feet! Congrats on your little one..Sometimes I wish that I would have found out through an ultrasound to prepare me..So I could have talked to people and peeked at before and after pics..You've come to a great place! Sorry to cut this short but for some reason Ella feels that she needs more ice cream.[/u]

[Kerri]

I just had to add something while she's on the floor lol..I know what you mean about phrasing..Things will rub you the wrong way when it comes to this..It is a big deal...All of us understand where you're coming from..When people say "oo she looks so much better" or "is that all, there's so much they can do these days" I'm sure there's more..It's the family and our children going through it and some people will never understand..You're like I am..Don't come over, my house is a mess lol..LET THEM! If they are just there for a shoulder to cry on because you're scared, because you're tired, for anything..My family has been beyond amazing, especially my sister..Don't get me started there 'cause I'll start crying! Surround yourself with family..You're 40 weeks pregnant! You get to have a dirty house!

[Aidyl]

Congratulations on the baby, Tia. I am pregnant as well...although not as far along as y'all. I am due January 2nd. It will be our second child. We were blessed with a little boy 2 years ago come November. He was born with just a cleft palate. We weren't expecting it and they didn't find out until the day after he was born. I know how you feel in wanting to find out everything you can. I hope and pray that you have a safe delivery and that things go well afterward. Our little ones have their problems...but they're so special. Just enjoy every moment possible. They're a blessing.
Take care and God bless you and your family.
Lydia

[Z-Pup]

You're 40 weeks pregnant! You get to have a dirty house!

I'm printing this line out and putting it on the Fridge!!!


My father was rather upset at the nurse for telling me that he may possibly have the cleft. I am actually "happy" to have known about it. I've had the time to work through it in my head, and once I got over the shock of it all and my brain started working again and I could think it over logically. He will just have to have surgery. There is nothing wrong with him, everything else is wonderful, thank goodness. It could of been oh so very much worse. I tend to think "If this is all I have to worry about, I do thank the heavens"

My mother has been wonderful, my little sister was born with a Giant Hairy Nevus on the back of her head, from the top of her head to the top of her neck it took up about 60% of that part of the scalp. My sister is a wonderful lil spunky woman (I guess I can't call her a girl since she is 23, but she will always be 'youngin' to me LOL) She had to have multiple surgeries, so mom will also be great when Zach has to have his.

[Aidyl]

I agree with you, Tia. I would have given anything I had to have known beforehand. And that's great about your mother. Mothers are wonderful aren't they???? I know mine is. She was always there to help me when I had to learn how to feed him and take care of him. Whenever I went to the feeding specialist or doctor's office I asked her to come along because I knew that she'd be right there to help me. If it wasn't for her and my husband I don't know what I would have done.

[Kerri]

My best advice, have someone besides you and your husband know how to feed him..It's amazing how we take things for granted, just the small things..The feedings were a little overwhelming at first and now I miss them like crazy!! My sister knew how to feed Ella as well and it was SO nice to have a 3rd set of hands!

[Aidyl]

I agree wholeheartedly with Kerri. I knew how to feed my son and so did my husband. Then there was my mother and a couple of other people who we allowed to do it. And don't feel bad about saying no if someone asks to do it and they don't know how. My son was born in November and we lived in Tennessee...a much colder climate than where we are now. And there were people I knew from before I got married and had a child, and they would see me in the store and naturally want to hold him or whatever..and I told them no and explained why. The last thing I wanted or needed was for my son to catch some kind of sickness. And what better way than be passed from one person's hands to another. People were very understanding although sometimes it seemed strange to say they couldn't hold him or they couldn't give him his bottle. But for sure..make sure that you have a close circle of people who know how to feed the baby.

[Z-Pup]

I had called my mother earlier this afternoon and told her I think (key words "I think") I may of had a few contractions today. Ain't done this one before can't tell you if I am or not, may very well be gas pains. LOL

*fast forward 4 hours*

Me and Hubby were on the way home from his sisters tonight, the cell phone rings, it's my mother. She says that she has put on the board at work "WE MAY BE IN LABOR......or it may be gas!" Can I tell you I about ran off the road!!!

....I do however have a question...since I am very close to going in the hospital (fingers crossed, toes, knees *wait no keep those apart*)... is there anything that I MUUUUST be sure to tak to the hospital for Zach. I mean other than obvious, clothes, camera, ect.

Good Night I'm gonna try to get some sleep
Tia & Z-Pup (I will explain )

[hatchedk]

Your post brought back lots of memories and emotions for me. I found out at my 5Th (yes, 5Th) ultrasound that he had cleft lip and palate, 2 weeks before my due date. I was having all the ultrasounds because I measured small.
You were fortunate to have family around. My husband was out of town, my 18 month old daughter was sick so I couldn't take her to daycare, I had to drag her along to the US and we have no family in town. So when I found out, I remember that oh-my-gosh feeling; and not being able to think.
I had to tell my husband over the phone, as well as my parents. That was the longest, hardest night that I found out.
And...he decided to be 9 days overdue, and my MIL was in town (more stress than help...)
It is wonderful that you were able to find out before, I think no one needs that extra stress when labor and delivery is stressful enough!
I went through such a wide range of emotions, some I'm still embarrassed to speak about....
And when I had him, at first I cried all day. Even though I knew before hand, seeing him and the challenges of feeding him stressed me out. But soon after he came home, I honestly forgot that he was different and grew to love his smile!! I tended to forget he was "different" and was often shocked by people's reaction.
We just had surgery on his lip and nose 2 weeks ago. Boy it was not easy, but he looks great! Feel free to check out our site if you want to see pics of Andy before and after... katieandyhatch.blogspot.com I always like to look at pictures!
The conservative management of the cleft lip and palate have been amazing. Hopefully if he does have a complete cleft of lip or palate you can get right into your plastic surgeon to start the management.
Good luck, speedy labor and delivery, and just take a deep breath...it will all be OK! Oh yeah, take lots of pictures. If you cant do it, have your family do it and hang on to them until you are ready. Trust me, you will want to document the amazing changes!
Karen

[Kerri]

WHAT!!??!! You're gonna get some rest? Hit the sidewalk girlie!! Get walking lol..I told my husband I thought I was in labor (I have 4 girls..WHEW) and he MADE me walk lol...Then I came home and ate watermelon...Hmm...Did your doctor mention that if you and your hubby get a "little close" that helps also..Now I'll be nervous for you ALL night..Let us know! And get walking lady lol

[Carrie]

First off... congratulations Tia, you're so close to seeing your precious baby boy. I agree with what everyone has told you so I won't repeat them lol. You found a great place here for support and I'm happy you decided to introduce yourself.
Second... Kerri, my goodness girl, you made me giggle. Hunter had surgery today, non cleft related and it was a rough day so I needed it. Thanks.
Carrie

[Kerri]

Hunter did?? I didn't know he was gonna have surgery..Poor little guy.. I hope all went well..Yep..We went walking with Ella..I was so mad at my husband..Then I thought they were gonna send me home and they told me they were gonna keep me..I shot my hubby the dirtiest look and told him I wanted to go home..Having 3 before Ella, I knew it wasn't gonna be a good time lol..Glad I could make you laugh..Now tell Tia to get walking Carrie..Or the other thing I mentioned

[Aidyl]

I'm so excited for you Tia!!! There isn't anything in the world like holding your little baby in your arms. That's one thing I just ACHED to do...I wanted him out and holding him. (I didn't know if the baby was going to be a boy or girl...I LOVE surprises too much...still don't know what this baby is going to be.) Enjoy every minute of it. I started having contractions right after supper on Thanksgiving Day night and then Quinten was born Saturday night. I was sooooooo tired...I had to do the walking thing too. But nothing can prepare you for those first precious moments. I was soooo excited that my husband and I were having a baby I was slapping my legs in-between contractions at the hospital...the doctor said he'd never seen anyone that excited before. LOL...I can't wait for this little one to join us. And Quinten will be sooo happy. If it's a girl we're going to name her Hannah Patrice. And if it's a boy..Timothy Aidan.
Anyways, I can't wait to hear the good news about your baby. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
God bless.
Lydia