New Nephew with cleft palate

[Ruth]

I just got the call a couple of hours ago that my new nephew
is born! He has a cleft palate. I'm going tommorrow to see him
and mom and want to know what I can say or do to help out my
sister and brother-in-law with this. Any info on the right thing
to say {or not to say) would be appreciated.

[Ros]

I would say Congratulations!!! Some couples aren't ready to
talk with others about their baby's condition right away and need
time to come to terms with it themselves. However if they bring
it up then I would feel free to ask whatever questions you have
and ask if there is anything you can do to help.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations on your new nephew! It's difficult to know
what to do or say with this new situation. I think it's best to
just behave the same as you would with any other new baby, but
regard the parents response. If they are comfortable, hold and
kiss him much, take pictures, compliment him to the parents, etc.
When he starts school, he may become self conscious, but knowing
that he comes from an unconditionally accepting family will give
him a strong sense of self. And even then, give him hugs and
kisses, compliment him directly, and take pictures. Best of luck
and happiness to this new little guy, his parents and his aunt.

[mary j.]

congratulations on your new nephew.I,m only sorry that I couldn't reply by the 18th.My son Jacob was born in August 1995,and to our suprise had a cleft palate and lip.It only took a matter of hours for us to realize that the most important thing was going to be his care and not our grief for the loss of the perfect child we were expecting.I suggest that you concentrate on all of the things that are normal about him.The doctors and programs that your sister will become involved in will become wonderful support systems for her family.My son is four and a half now.He is a normal, healthy and very attractive child.His speech is near perfect thanks to access to early speech therapy.I expect that sometime down the road there may be some self esteem issues,but then...isn't that true of most children?In closing just be there for them,and don't say you're sorry...he is who he is,and this is part of it.