Adult cleft palate(support)

[cdmoses@cruzio.com]

Hi - I am new to this discussion group, but hope there may be
help here for someone with my experiences. I am 53; my surgeries
were in 1946-47, with followup (plastic surg) in 1961. I feel as
though I have made reasonable adjustment to the physical
scarring. However, the emotional effects of having been left in
hospital at age 3 mos, 6mos, 12mos, and 18mos for ten days at a
time, in an era when parental visits were forbidden, have been
quite profound. I have worked on this a long time in therapy and
am making progress; However, it would be immensely helpful if
anyone out there suffered similar hospital experiences and has a
story about how to deal with it. I have hit a "crisis"
spot lately and would welcome support from other adult clefts who
are dealing with these emotional issues. Two big ones for me are
abandonment and security. Thanks. Best to email me directly,
though I will keep in touch with the list

[kylejae333]

hello I am a 41 year old woman born with a cleft palate and
lip. Right now i feel like crying because i have looked for
something like this all my life. I would like to be able to
correspond with other adults born with cp/cl and find out how
they cope with life. I'm still not coping too well. I am under
psychiatric care because of my childhood experieces. I would like
to be able to let go of the anger and pain so that I can get on
with my life. Thank you, Please e-mail me at kylejae333

[Beth Ellis]

I am a 25 year old graduate student in Virginia and I am new
to this page. I have always wished I could share my feelings
about the trauma of surgery with someone who could really
understand me. I've had six surgeries, and though my parents were
wonderfully loving and supportive, I still struggle with issues
of self- esteem, control and abandonment. I'd love to talk to
someone who could hear my pain without thinking I'm psychotic or
silly. I can rationally explain my experiences and I am an able,
functional and intelligent person. But I also know that all the
reasoning in the world won't erase the ongoing fear of needles,
the smell of rubbing alcohol, or of having my arms immobilized.
Anyone who would like to talk, just to know you're not alone,
please email me at eellis@vts.edu

[judy]

Hi, its hard to believe that I will be 53 years old like you. I had surgeries at Kernan Hospital in Baltimore. I had recent surgeries at my son's children Hospital in Washington D>C> (Son has a soft cleft palate. It was interesting to be among the young children but anyway, its been a struggle for me. I have a Governmnt job and I have been a GS-5 for years. I will be retiring this year on a buy-out. Its hurts me when I calculate my annuity, my income will be in the poverty range and yet I just was not allow to grow and develop in my government personnel career. My parents were totally uncommunicative and I feel I will never catch up with my peers but what is one to do? I am hoping I can go back to school to help upgrade my income. I wish you well.