I don't like kissing. Cleft related?

[Lisa]

Little pecks are ok but not too many. Rarely do long kisses.
Are there any other cleft adults with a similar reaction to
kissing?

[Mike.w@virgin.net]

Well, I love long snogs but for me the problem is one of
rarity! Despite surgery I am still left with a noticable defect
and getting over the initial reaction can damage prospects of
successful snogging.



The problem may well be confidence and the nagging feeling
that this person doesnt really want a kiss me, not true of course
but the thought is still there... any comments?

[Anonymous]

[am]

Hi Lisa, Is it a problem with the sensation from prolonged
contact? Or, that you may be uncomfortable with having another
person's face so close and centered over yours? I have a
bi-lateral cleft lip and palate, have had well over 25 surgeries
and have at times had increased sensitivity around my mouth (and
most recently, my nose). But luckily, none has interferred with
my liking kissing. Is your family affectionate? Maybe it has a
little to do with your upbringing. If not, I think start off
slowly with someone who you trust (and of course, like!) and kiss
a little more each day. It may be just one of those things that
you may have to accept about yourself. We all have different
likes and dislikes, that's what makes us individuals. Good Luck!