by Anna » Fri Sep 19, 2003 9:25 pm
Hello,
My name is Anna, I'm 23 and have the same problem that your child has. My mother's grandfather had a full cleft palete, she knew when she first saw me that I had had one too, but it was comepletely healed.
She said there was a faint line between my nose and lip and there was extra skin on my top gums where it had healed. The most noticeable sign was that my nostrils where uneven.
It has gotten less and less noticeable over the years. Nobody can tell that my nose is not perfect, except for in pictures when they're shot at a certain angle.
I'm a parent too, but my daugther does'nt have this problem. However, as a parent and a person that has been through this, I can tell you she will most likely be very self-conscious about her nose. I was. I got upset every year during picture day (when we got pictures back.)
The best thing that helped me was when my mother would tell me that I was a miracle. That somebody up there was looking out for me and didn't want me to look that way for some special reason.
I've never done it, but maybe you could find a make-up artist that could teach you some make-up tricks that would make things more balanced, especially in middle school and high school.
Also, when she comes to you, upset because someone made fun of her, don't try to down play it like it's not a big deal. Let her cry on your shoulder. Show her some pictures of herself that are beautiful. Show her pictures of the stars that are beautiful, but not perfect.
Try to instill in her from an early age that "perfect" is boring. The most talanted, most beautiful people in the world aren't perfect. They're unique, and that's why we love them.