Hi Michelle! I don't know if I can really give you great
advice, but I can definitely identify with what you're talking
about. I'm 20 and am in college, so we're probably going through
a similar place in our lives right now. I still constantly deal
with those feelings of insecurity. Even though I've been told by
friends and family that I look great and don't need to worry
about it anymore, the feelings of panic and fear when I'm meeting
new people hasn't left me- it's kind of like it's this automatic,
gut reaction now. Sometimes I'm not even consciously thinking
about them noticing my scars or anything, it's just this
underlying insecurity that is always there. The only thing I know
to help is to take it one person at a time, and to purposely push
yourself out of your comfort zone and act with an air of
friedliness and confidence- even if you don't always feel it,
hopefully it'll come over time. Something I've learned is that a
lot of the time, when I thought people didn't like me or had
judged me by the way I look, the only real problem was that they
were alienated by the walls I had put up around myself- I was
just afraid and trying to protect myself from getting hurt, but
it came of as simply being unfriendly and aloof. The whole thing
is still something I deal with daily- I wonder often what it
would feel like to live completely free from that fear- I really
hope that things only get better for you! If you ever need
someone to toss ideas and thoughts around with, I'd love to talk
with you! In His love- Kristi (
kristinasullivan@netscape.net)