Person with cleft lip and palate now having kids

[Jen]

Hello, my name is Jen and I am 22 years old. I was born with a unilateral cleft lip and palate. I have had several revisions done and my lip looks far better than it did when I was in grade school, but like a lot of people who are affected by this, I still have very low self-esteem. My parents were wonderful and very crucial to what confidence I do have. My husband is amazing and has always been proud of me for all that I went through. I am currently pregnant with my first child. At 20 weeks we had a Level II Ultrasound and it showed some questions so we are having a repeat one in 3 weeks. I am struggling with how to deal with the blame aspect of this problem. I can't stop myself from thinking that this is my fault and that my daughter will have to suffer all of the things that I did. Please give me some advice on this.

[Anonymous]

Jen, there are some parents that write to the yahoo club "Cleft Club" who had clefts themselves who have kids with clefts.


<a href="http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/thecleftclub">http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/thecleftclub</a>


The people who write to the messages board are very compassionate and can help you through this. Take Care.

[Charity]

I was born with a unilateral cleft. check out my pic at www.friendsforcleft.com
I have 4 sisters, 2 are cleft, my dad was cleft. it is genetic in my family. It is not your fault that your baby might be cleft. I have been trying to get pregnant for years, and if my baby is cleft, I will love it just as much if not more. You will be fine. you have a advantage that you know what your child may go through. You dont have to hide that they are cleft to them years from now as some parents do. i used to have low self esteem but I dont anymore. I love myself, and my husband loves me very much too. Congrats on your baby. if your baby is cleft, the feedings might be a little more time consuming but otherwise they will be just as normal. I have a nephew who's cleft as well.

[Calvero]

Thanks for the plug for the club, whoever you are


I'm the founder of the club and also cleft and a mom. My little girl is 16 motnhs old and cleft-free, also free of any other conditions. But even before she was born I felt that if she did have a cleft she would have it better than I did. Even though my parents never heard of a cleft lip or palate before, they were great raising me. And since I knew first hand what it's like, I felt that I could help my child deal with issues and be less hurt, not to say that my mom wasn't there for me,...she just didn't know how to relate to what I was going through (she and my dad have admitted that more than once o me).


But remember: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!! That's very important! Just like you, your child is very improtant no matter how he/she comes into the world. And you never know what great things they will do with there life


And now my brain has turned to mush and I forgot what I was going to say....that's what I get for staying up late, LOL


Hang in there! Your baby will be a joy


Calvero
Born to be Cleft
<a href="http://calvero.tripod.com/cleft/">http://calvero.tripod.com/cleft/</a>
The Cleft Club
<a href="http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/thecleftclub">http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/thecleftclub</a>