Guilty grandma and has something to get off her chest and ne

[Carol]

This is something that has been bothering me ever since our first grandson was born. We now have thre ages 3/12 - and 5 months. I realize that none of you are doctors but I really need a question answered before I make a fool of myself with my grandsons doctor.


Here I go -


I don't want any of you to think that I was some kind of a drug addict, because I was not, but 32 years ago my doctor gave me a pill for any ache of pain I had. If I had muscle probles, he would perscripe _valium. If I told him I was having problems sleeping because the baby kept me up, he would give me a sleeping pill, if I retained fluid and fluid pill script was written out. Drinking and smoking were fine, which driking I did in moderation and I did smoke. Back then you Doctor was God and you did as he said and kept my mouth closed because he was the professional and my trust was with him and of course I was only 21, what did I know. Now my delima is (first let me tell you our daughter was born was born five weeks early but through the grace of God she was a perfect child and still is) . Our 5 month old grandson was born with a soft cleft palate (this is baby number three, her first baby had speech problems and attends special ed at the age of three, the second one seems normal but has a speech delay but does not need special ed.


Sory this is so long - As I read more and more about clefts and hear that they are genetic and neither familes have a history of having any.


Does anyone think that the reason why my daughter is having children with special needs is because of all the meds that the doctor gave me skipped her and went on to them. I feel dumb and stupid and very guilty thinking that the cleft and the other problems caused by me through my daughter. Some kind of recessive gene. Thanks be to God I never in my whole life took any kind of illegal drugs, you may call it a prescription junkie due to a stupid doctor. My second pregantcy I never had anything to complain about because I felt great and I recieved no prescription, my son who is now 29 is perfect. Both of them have high IQ's and are very healthy. Now that I told you my whold live history, I would love to hear any and all comments.


Thank you
Hope it did not skip a generation and the problems are just a freak think.
Again thanks for listening need it off my chest-waiting to hear back

[Another Carol]

Carol, I am not a doctor but I have not read anything that would point to you as the culprit! Clefts happen for many reasons and I have not heard or read anything about the previous generation taking medications and causing a cleft. Clefts happen and sometimes there is just no way of finding out why. Get rid of the guilt and have fun being Grand ma!
Carol

[Ros]

When my daughter was born with a cleft I questioned
everything I could think of to come up with a
reason as to why this happned. There has never
been clefts in either of our families so we saw
a genetic councellor. We were told that three
things had to happen in order for a cleft to
result and they are: genetic predisposition,
timing and envirmonment. So basically the baby
is at risk because of genetics then something has
to interfer like an illness or medicine or
pollution(we may never know what) at a certain
time period in the first trimester (between 3-10
weeks. If this is in fact the way it happens then
that would rule out what you did during your
pregnancy with your daughter. I'm not an authority
but this was the explanation that we were told.
I hope this helps you. If what our mothers
did during their pregancies affected our babies
we would be seeing alot more defects because
back then doctors prescribed drugs etc.
and didn't have all the facts they do
now. I hope you feel better.




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