Good outcomes

[Grandma Martha]

We have a unilateral cleft granddaughter, born November 8, 1999. She is a good natured child, takes to the Haberman feeder, and has just had a dental device installed (at six weeks) to draw her lip and gum together before surgery. Is there anyone out there who can give me a little solace that this darling little mite will not be teased and afflicted for her whole life? She is a patient at Boston Children's Hospital, and my daughter and her husband have great faith in the team there. I would love to hear from some folks who did NOT have horrible things happen to their little ones, but then perhaps horrible things are their lot in life. Thanks for any positive feedback you can give me. P.S. I have a friend whose has a cleft grandson (who is VERY cute looking), who never had any speech problems, but who never got any baby teeth on his cleft side. Thanks for anything you can tell me. Martha

[Charity]

I was born with a utilateral cleft lip and palate. I am 23 so they have a lot better technology then they did in the 70's,but i am happy with myself. I am not bad looking, i sound normal,and i have a lot of confidence. i must admit i did get teased a lot in school,not so much because of my cleft,but because of my cleft my midface did not grow,causing a overbite of my lower jaw which i had repaired when i was 18. they had to wait till i stopped growing. if i had a email of yours i could send a pic of myself. she may get teased in school,but not because of her cleft. kids in school like to tease other kids about anything. she will grow up to be very pretty. my email is Jandcwest@hotmail.com if ya want a pic of me. in case you are wondering, i have had about 15 surgeries in my life(last one was in 7/99. and hada lot of speech therapy as a child.

[jenny]

I thought I might drop you a line of encouragement. I was born with a cleft lip and palate. I went to a catholic school and I can only remember being teased once on the bus as a small child. My mother spoke to the school principal and the offender apologized and it never happened again. I had a wonderful doctor and a mother dedicated to my care. There are many surgeries but I think they are harder on the parent than the child. Today, I am 28 yrs.old and most people don't even notice that I have a scar and I have great self esteem. I have a wonderful job (in the engineering field), a loving husband (he said it was love at first sight)and a lovely little girl. I was constantly told as a child how smart and beautiful I was. Nothing that the boy said on the bus affected my life...my family did. Just keep telling your grandaughter how special and wonderful she is.
sorry it's soooo long winded.

[Kelly]

I don't know if you can call us an outcome yet, maybe we are still a "work in progress" but so far life has been pretty good. My daughter was born 9 years ago with a bilateral complete cleft of the lip and palate. We lost my father-in-law to cancer the same day my daughter was born. I can be honest and say I wasn't very optimistic in the beginning. I was only 19 years old and had never even seen a cleft. Katie (my daughter) had her first surgery at 3 months, a second at nine months and many more to follow. I will not lie and tell you it was easy....it's the hardest thing I have had to do to this day. But I strongly believe God only gives us what we can handle. If you can think of it like this, I think it helps. Instead of thinking about how this happened to you, think about the fact that people everyday have children with no birth defects. Just about anyone can do it......but only a handful are chosen to recieve a "special child". Katie has had some teasing, but really not much. We live in a small town and everyone is very supportive. When she has a surgery, just about the whole town knows, and helps out in anyway possible. I have always had Katie out there with all the "normal" kids. I think that is the most important thing...to treat these kids as normal as possible. I am sure there will be bumps along our journey, but so far those little bumps have made Katie a pretty awesome person. She has a great personlality and love enough for the whole world, even the people who sometimes stare. She always tells me "mom they are just wondering how I got such a pretty lip" Just keep looking for the bright side and I am certain you will find it and in the process your grandchild will learn to look for the possitive. Katie and I wish you the best of luck.

[Another Granny]

My Grandson was born in Nov. of 1998 with a bilateral cleft lip and palate. No one had any idea this would happen. But I'll tell you he is so so loved !!! He's had several surgeries already and each time there's an improvement. He has 2 parents that love him dearly, not too mention grandparents who are totally crazy about him ! He may have problems with other kids as he gets older, but with the positive re-inforcement he gets from his family, I believe he will accomplish great things in his life. He smiles all the time, it melts your heart. Have faith she'll be fine. Love her, Kelly's right,she is special !!