Need someone to talk with

[MacRay52@aol.com]

I am trying to deal with the feelings that I have toward my mother-in-law over her views on raising a child with a cleft lip.(My husband was born with a bilaterial cleft lip and palete, our daughter a unilaterial cleft lip) She won't even tell her friends that she was born with a cleft. They never saw pictures until after her surgery was 4 months post-op. I think that her views are outdated and harmful to my daughters confidence when she grows up. Please Help!

[Acrossdeemiles@yahoo.com]

Boy does your situation sound familiar. I know what it is like to deal with someone who lives so closed minded. My mother-in-law is the same way. I have a very difficult time with the way she raises her children and the attitudes that she tries to impart on me. I have not really found an easy solution to this problem but I do know that living the way you believe and live it well and that will allow her to see there is another way. Trying to contradict her only means butting heads. You can make a better statement by talking about it if you want to with the people affected and they will see that an open and secure family is much healthier. I have actually had my stubborn mom-in-law tell me that I have taught her things which is very nice to hear. I just stopped trying to fight and just followed my beliefs and it is slowly ironing things out. If you ever want to chat please feel free to email me anytime!
Dawn