Baby Girl's Cleft Lip

[smolino64@hotmail.com]

My daughter Kera has a cleft lip and I'm scared to death about her getting surgery.I know that its the best thing to do for when she gets older but, just the thought alone about the surgery.I'm almost to the point where I'm going to say "Forget it." But I have to do whats right for her.Right? Am I doing the absolute best thing for my four month old daughter? Or am I just being selfish because I dont want anyone to treat my baby different?
PLEASE HELP ME MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE!

[Anonymous]

For heaven's sake!!!! Don't think twice. Get her the surgery. She will forever be different from other children if you don't. The doctors can do miracles. Don't deprive her - DO IT!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Hi,
The best choice for your daughter is to have the surgery, she can't make the choice for herself you being the mom have to, even if it scares you.
This surgery isn't being done for your benefit it is for Kera. She is four months old I am sure very healthy. Some babies have this suregery at a few weeks old. Mine was 6 weeks old, I never once thought of postponing it or not doing it because I was afraid and believe me I was. I had to think about her future and what was best for her. (feeding her that in its self was reason enough to do it...) Being parents, having children WE ARE going to be afraid for our kids, like learning independence, but we can't stop them from becoming independant or shelter them, that would only make us feel better and eventually hurt our children. Just like not having this surgery would. I am wondering why you feel having this surgery would make people treat your kid differently? To me not having the surgery would result in people treating her differently.
If you think about what is going to help your child, I am sure you will make the right decision.
Sherry

[Anne]

Hi There
I would like to give you some words of support as a cleft sufferer myself.Im 34 now and at the age of 3mths my mum and dad went a head with surgery and thereafter threw my childhood.Things are much more advanced now and even repair to cleft is far better.I couldnt make the decission at 3mths old but one thing i can say is that id rather grow up with a slight scare than a hole in my upper lip that was unsightly.I have seen the photo of my cleft before surgery and its awful.Im now an adult hoping to be a mum myself one day but if i hadnt had surgery when i was young i dont think i would be as happy as i am now.Let me put it this way think of your baby how would you feel if you had a facial disfigurement as a baby and you found out when you were older that you mum decided not to have it repaired im pretty sure you would be angry with her so do the best thing let the wee girl have her surgery its not nice to put your baby threw an operation but its better that than her being disfigured for the rest of her life.Put your trust in the surgion shell be fine and youll be alot happier.Anne

[Edie]

Hi, I can completly understand what you are going through. When my son was born, I felt so guilty, "What did I do to cause this". Worse thing was that either he have this for life or put my baby through pain. When I found out that he would get his first surgery @2 months, I was very saddened. I wanted to wait a little longer just because he was such a newborn to me and I was scared his little body could not handle everything. I must say that that day at the hospital was major nerve recking. I was shaking and did not want to let him go. I would give anything to fix him with no pain but obviously that was not possible. The doctor's came to tell me that they were ready to take him back. I started to cry and could not hand him over. Our surgeon has a weird sense of humor which I must say I don't care for too much but he took him from my arms and said he did not want to see any tears. My husband started blaimng himself for a bad gene or something. Hey, it's no ones fault. Nobody wanted this to happen, right?


After the sugery, his face was swollen and so hard to recognize because we were so used to seeing him with his little hole on his face. He was so out of it because of the medication that he was mostly sleeping. Looking back, that wasn't as bad as it seemed. I could have never lived with myself if I had decided not to get it done. The more perfect they can get his little face bqack together the hopefully easier life will be for him.


I actually don't remember the 2nd surgery but I know by the time he had his 3rd at 10 months old. That was much harder because he knew now that there was something not normal on his face and he would tug and the metal thing they put there. He was also more alert.


He has another surgery coming up either this year or the next which I am worried about. He will now be 5 or 6 years old. That will be very tough. He will know now and I will have to explain as best I can now. I know he will thank us for loving him and for making sure his life would be as normal as possible.


God bless your family and give you much needed strength.

[Chad]

I totally respect you concern for your child and the fear you have of the unknown. I was born with cleft lip and palate--as was my father--so I can speak somewhat for your child. "Please go ahead with the procedure." The absolute worst part of have CL/P was the teasing and name-calling from other children at school because I "looked different."--like it was somehow my fault. The quicker you can make your child's appearance as "normal" as possible, the more you will prevent your child from experiencing the emotional pain of having cleft. Be strong--your child will thank you for it later.

[Anonymous]

Glad you could give words of support to this mother as i have done.Im 34 now and was born with a cleft lip had surgery at 3mths old and thereafter threw my childhood.Painfull as it was at the time I thank my mum for the trust she put in the medical profession who repaired it very well.Id rather live with a slight scare than a hole in my mouth and not be able to talk,eat mix with people.Im now happy with what i have and feel no different from anyone in the world.
Anne