Loved-one in need of help

[Jonathan 22 Oct]

My Girlfriend has this problem and her Mom neglects her to the fullest exetreme. I would like to know what I could do to help her. She is fifteen so i don't know if there are any certain thing that I should be aware of before i try to look into helping her with all of my power available.
Hoping to do a good thing for a person in need,
Jonathan Tuggle

[Victoria]

Hello,


I am impress to see how caring you are. I have written various replies to various confidence issues on this notice board, they are all signed with my name, apart from one in which I forgot which is a reply to someone who said is still scared by the taunting he suffered. See if you can find them. The thing is that I have written a lot about my boyfriend and how he has turned out. He was born, like your girlfriend, with a cleft palate and lip and has had surgery over 30 times. The difference is that, although his father died when he was a small child, his mother has been extremelly loving, even to the point of spoiling him a bit. You say that your girlfriend's mother neglects her completely. What do you mean by that? Mentally, in terms of moral support or physically? Does she need further surgery? Anyway, whatever the problem is in her family front, the best thing that you can do is to love her and to express this love. I can assure you that I have made my boyfriend more confident by just merely loving him. I am a bit concerned about her age, because this is the time when people start concentrating on their looks and on what people may say about them. Most self-esteem problems come to a peak in this period of adolescence, and all I can suggest is that you are there for her.


One problem I have found is that my boyfriend will not bring up the subject openly. Only as a joke and as if it did not matter. Try to be open and don't ignore the subject. Treat it with as much normality as you can. I am not doing very well in that department, I take importance away from the issue for fear of hurting him. However, once we were talking about it very much from the surgical perspective and I found I was able to ask questions and so for. I guess I clicked onto this side, originally to learn more about the condition and I guess now I just hope that my experiences with my boyfriend may be of help to someone out there. If you cannot find my other writings, please reply to this message and I will point them out to you (I can't remember under which exact heading they are).


Best of luck and glad to know that young people can care so much