single mother needs support

[Baby02Daisy@cs.com]

My son was born last week with a cleft lip and palate. I am a single mother and I would love to hear from other parents who have gone or are going through this alone.

[Anonymous]

Hello, I am not a single mother but I do , in a way know how you might feel. I am 6 months pregant and have recently found out that my daughter will have a cleft lip and my docotor told me to count on her having a cleft palate as well. I am still with the father but he is away in the military and because of the recent events he will not be coming home for a long time. I'm scared because I have to pick a surgeon with out him and because he won't be here to help me. But I do have family and I hope you can count on some family to help you right now as well. Or close friends because that is what is helping me right now. I am very grateful that all it is, is a cleft lip and palate because I know it could be a lot worse. And the fact that it can be fixed makes me feel a lot better. I hope that everything goes well.
Goodluck,
KelLee1979@aol.com

[Calvero]

I have a list of support groups that you can join and maybe find some other single moms:


<a href="http://calvero.tripod.com/cleft/info.htm">http://calvero.tripod.com/cleft/info.htm</a>


Unfortunatly I don't know of any just for single parents , but there's bound to be some single parents at the groups listed on that page.


Kim, The Cleft Club, <a href="http://cleftclub.cjb.net">http://cleftclub.cjb.net</a>

[robinsi2000@yahoo.com]

Hi, my name is robin and my son is William. I am not a single mom but we have something in common and that is our children have clefts. It is a hard thing to deal with as a couple and I can't say i know what your going through. I can say that your daughter is lucky that you will have knowledge that we didn't have. We had no clue that he had a cleft and so we were in shock and myself some denial. Educate yourself, find a good team you may have to travel so be prepared. The most important thing have people who love you and you trust take some of the load. Don't try to do everything yourself. Use support groups, a good organization to call is parent-to-parent and the cleft line 1800-24-cleft.


You can also email me.
Hope this helps,
Robin

[Alayna Cobb, Kansas]

I too am a single mother. I am 23 years old. Yes, it has been hard,...but I lucked out in getting to move back home with my parents. My daughter, Ashlie, is 19 months old now, and she is the ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!! We are SOOOO tight. When I think about how MUCH i love her, it brings tears to my eyes. I can't explain it. Actually, this may sound backwards,...but I think that being a single parent has actually brought my child and i closer together. who was there to put her to bed?,...me,....who was there EVERY time she needed something?,...me,...who was there at every one of her surgeries?,...me,...who took care of her and comforted her after surgery?,...me,.......well, you get the point. you have more opportunities to do things that mean something to these children since you are the only one there. I am in a situation right now where i am starting to date again,...and i am having a problem with it, because i don't want to share her. she has been "mine" for 19 months, and I'm not ready to have someone else there telling me what to do with her. I have been the one to make all of the decisions and have all of the say for 19 months, so i am REALLY struggling with this. Anyway, I think that your child will really respect you for being a single parent and making it through all of this. this is not easy. i recently came to the conclusion that I NEED MY DAUGHTER MORE THAN SHE NEEDS ME. That's what happens when you only have eachother to rely on. anyway, hang in there, you'll make it, and if you need anything let me know. I just started a support group a couple of months ago, please check it out. Our story is posted there, and everything there we have done alone. the support group is called Changing Faces, and the site is <a href="http://www.araweb.org/faces">http://www.araweb.org/faces</a>


Alayna, 23, Kansas
Mommy to an Angel in Heaven (3-13-99)
Mommy to Ashlie, 19 months, bclp


God may not Prevent the calamity,...but He gives us the Strength and Perserverance to Overcome it!!


Life may be tough,..........BUT I'M TOUGHER !!!