by Jim » Sun Mar 04, 2001 2:27 pm
I had to repspond to much of what people have wrote in reply to the start of these messages.
I fall somewhere in between on what people are saying and what the first guy said. I have just recently found the people who are willing to accept me for who I am. I was born in North East England, and was surrounded with possibly the most evil people anyone is likely to meet. I have had a very hard time with my cleft lip and palate, and cant stop thinking about what could have been for me at school and with certain other people. If you are in a bad environment with something like a cleft, then things are going to be VERY difficult. I have tried projecting a good positive attitude to everyone Ive met. Some people have responded with the kindness and understanding expected of good people.....others have been downright evil and prejudice. This can have a bad effect on a person, especially with the type of place I live, where the slightest difference in appearences is excuse for anyone to be attacked.
However, I am now graduating from University with a degree in engineering. I am about to move to the US to be with a fantastic girl who I love, and hopefully to start a new life. What I am saying is that everyones circumstances are unique. There ARE situations that can cause people to despair about this sort of thing. Not everyone can deal with things as easily as other people. Its HARD having a cleft. I have been there and I am still learning. But, I feel I am a better person, more open and understanding to other peoples worries and feelings. I am starting to enjoy life, and I am overcomming my problems. There ARE evil people in the world, and I am unlucky to have run into lots of them. But, I dont believe many of the kids i went to school with in my little home town have degrees, american girlfriends or are preparing for the biggest adventure they could have hoped for. Moving to a new country!
Clefts cause problems. Problems are there to be overcome. When you do....your a better person. But, some people need more help than others. Sometimes, its not their fault, and the effects can be bad. We cant control our environment totally through positive intentions or force of will alone.
Please, be supportive...show people you ARE a better person for having a cleft. Thats the positive attitude that makes a difference. The one which benefits other people, not just yourself.