Playing down attractiveness to avoid any attention

[Anonymous]

I am an adult female who was born with a cleft lip and palate.
Though everything is sucessfully repaired, I find that I try not
to draw any attention to myself by making myself look more
attractive. My style has been whittled down to "very basic,
very plain" though I'm sure I could look a lot better if I
tried. I think I fear that if I do try to look a certain way, and
if it LOOKS like I'm trying, somebody will say something like:
"You think YOU can look good?" or "Who does she
think she is?"



Does anyone else feel the same or have in the past? What can
be done about this? Thanks.

[Patricia S Davis]

I am 49 years old and feel absolutely beautiful. I truly
believe that what I look like doesn't make any difference as long
as I am comfortable with who I am. It took alot of years of tears
but maybe age has something to do with it. I also have had a
number of surgeries some successful and some not and had to do it
over. Its what we feel inside-- we know we had a deformity but
after the painful surgeries and almost perfection we always know
and remember the pain physical and more importantly the emotional
pain. Growing up was very difficult, the teasing and mocking
etc.etc.etc. But what it has taught me is I am more compassionate
and understanding and a better person. If I had the opportunity
to decide if I had wanted this birth defect I would say YES !!! I
hope that outside beauty isn't what you are only considering. I
guess I'm an older type person but I'm going to say it anyway --
ITS WHATS INSIDE THAT COUNTS--and I heard that a thousand times
and believe me I didn't believe it for a minute but age and
experience and wisdom --it truly is whats inside that counts.
Hope your life experiences and how you respond to them helps you
in a positive life.

[KLB]

Hi, I couldn't have said it better myself!!!



KLB